After almost two months of renting my own apartment, I thought it necessary to come up with some guidelines for others who might consider braving the Almaty rental market.

Rule number 1) handyman skills, cement and super glue are essential!
When I first moved into my apartment, the mother of my landlady warned me not to put anything into my kitchen drawers and very few things into my kitchen cupboards. When I questioned her, she looked at me with amusement and said, “But don’t you know—the cupboards will fall down and the bottoms will fall out of the drawers!” Ah yes, kitchen cupboards and drawers which you can’t use. I had forgotten about that one.
When I complained about a leak in my bathroom, the mother of my landlady came to investigate. She told my friend Anna (who was housesitting for me while I was away) that she should go to the bazaar, buy a jar of cement and cement up the leaky pipe herself. And I guess the plumbers can’t do those sorts of things?!
Rule number 2) be prepared for all kinds of weather inside your own apartment
Forget the thermostat. You are under the control of the communal heating system! Thankfully, my heating system has decided to pretend that I am in the tropics. Unless I keep both my windows wide open, my windowpanes steam up and my apartment gets unbearably hot. Even with both windows open, I wander around most days in shorts and a t-shirt. In New Haven, I was never able to afford to keep my apartment this well heated, but now I am so “rich” I can keep both windows wide open. What luxury!
Rule number 3) be an inventive cook
I’m posting above a picture of my stove. I think that about says it all. When I first arrived in my apartment, it took a good forty-five minutes just to boil a pot of water. The landlady called the gas man who then “fixed” my stove so I had two settings: nothing or burners so fierce you could fry an egg in a matter of seconds. I asked the gas man if the oven was save to use. To demonstrate its safety, he opened the oven door, turned on the pilot light, stepped a good ten paces back and heaved a lit match into the oven door. The oven erupted into huge happy flames and the gas man, retreating even further from the fiery oven, said, “See, I assure you—it’s quite safe to use!”
Rule number 4) patience, patience, patience
As most tenants in Almaty can tell you, zaftra (tomorrow) and potom (later) are the favorite words of any landlady when confronted with repairs. Just don’t believe that tomorrow means tomorrow—it doesn’t!